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Dead Bond Girls

December 9th, 2008

For the record, the dead Bond girls in today’s cartoon are (from left to right): Paris Carver from Tomorrow Never Dies, killed in her bed by the assassin Dr. Kaufman at the behest of her media mogul husband Elliot Carver; Miss Anders from The Man with the Golden Gun, shot by Scaramanga with the titular golden gun; Corinne DuFour from Moonraker, the personal assistant and pilot for the villainous Hugo Drax, hunted down by Drax’s vicious trained dogs; Aki from You Only Live Twice, killed when an assassin drips poison down a cord from the ceiling onto her lips (I hate when that happens); and of course the unfortunate Jill Masterson from Goldfinger, who might have the quickest sex-to-death time in all of the Bond movies as she suffocates after being painted gold from head-to-toe.  All of these lovely ladies befell their fate after (and as a direct consequence of) sleeping with our man 007.  Rough.

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